If not us, then who? If not now, then when?
Saturday, March 6, 2010
I have a lovely boyfriend, one who was there at the day of my birth and fated to never see each other again until we 16 years after. He was the kind of guy that usually wins a girl over in the movie. He's got a friendly and approachable appearance as well as an open heart. My boyfriend always considers other before himself and my complete opposite. My boyfriend is able to have fun without worrying about what others think of him, I could never be myself unless in my comfort zone or tipsy with alcohol influence. He has no ego, I have pride. He doesn't mention when somebody upsets or insult him, I'm blunt and up-front. He gives, I take. He goes right, I go left. However it's like the cliche quote that "opposites attract" like the south and north end of magnets.
Today as we were standing under the shades of Sunshine Station waiting for a friend, my boyfriend and I were having our usual fun and mucking around. Then conversations lead to me saying "Everybody has another person they admire, another person they envy and another person they hate." which my boyfriend responded "So what do you admire about me? And what do you envy." It took me a while to skim through everything to pick the right things the say. What I envied most and what I admired most. "I admire how you're so friendly. How you can have no ego and I envy how easy it is for you to make friends, the way I can't." That moment I realised how fortunate I was to be standing right next to the person I admired most and envied most. The person who's been changing me and shaping me into what I admire. Not through methods of pressure or constant nagging, but love and affection, praise and lecture, awards and thorough attention. How did I grow to love this person so much? How much am I willing to sacrifice? There are many unanswered questions but in time there will be a response and more questions to solve.
Today from Duchess, my boyfriend and I bought a Mario Mystery Box and Mario plushie hat from Duchess for his friend's birthday presents. I also bought myself a very cute pair of shoes - as my own pair were wet from the storm today - for $10. At the party, I didn't do much. I didn't eat but just charged my Iphone and played games as I listened to music. My boyfriend kept trying to telling me to talk to his friends but I refused. I am openly a confident person, but inside I was really shy and attempt at befriending somebody was hard. Finally my boyfriend said "Let's go." I was shocked and a bit sad, the look on his face reflected into my emotions and scarred me. What was this look on his face? Disappointment? When I left I asked him whether he was angry at me. "No, but it's just that you were doing nothing." He replied. He then told me that he didn't want to have fun whilst I was bored. He should've never bought me to a nonalcoholic party. I hated myself for hurting him. I then promised myself to try harder. To step over boundaries, over my own boundaries next time. Next time I will make friends with the influence of alcohol. I promised to myself in my head, and to him as well. My Paul Frank flats were all wet and my feet started forming blisters so I decided to change into my new pair of shoes. To avoid getting them dirty my boyfriend piggybacked me to the closest bus stop. I felt so happy. Not every man thinks about his woman's shoes over his own.
At Sunshine, my boyfriend played Time Crisis 4 before watching Alice in Wonderland. I was quite a good movie, different from the original animation where it seems like Alice is high on some kind of drug. However, if you're aiming for the 3D experience, Hoyts is the way to go and Village is the big no-no! Tim Burton is an exceptional director. He can and will never be replaced and I can predict that there will be many new directors in the future who will come into the movie industry, inspired by his work.
Moving on, do any of you believe in karma. Well to be honest I do. Back in the days of my rebel ages where I stole (quite a lot) and lied, I was unhappy and depressed. But I've moved on and became stronger on my own. My boyfriend taught me to be kind and to be more kind to myself. A while ago, when I lost my wallet I was really depressed. A store had also gave me a pair of shoes different sized from each other. It was to be expected as the employee there wasn't a really good one. She left me there in the store whilst she went to go to the back to look for stock and she wasn't there in the first place when I entered. If I was still in my rebellious age I could had just grabbed so many things and walked out. But I didn't. Same thing happened at mobile accessory booth. $80 worth of stock was left in front of me as the employer turned her back on me. But I didn't touch anything, but I did purchase something. Well after that, I lost my wallet. The next day I came back to exchange the one of the pair of shoes that I bought for my correct size and then I was returned my wallet. However a fake David Jones card and $60 was taken but I was glad that the rest was still in place. I wondered about the person who stole from my wallet and wondered what misfortune they would receive later on. After that, today, there was an old woman at Footscray Market who was trying to keep a heavy door open with her back. I ran to her and held the door for her. She thanked me and called me 'my sweet' which made me feel pretty good. Hey, I'm pretty sure we all love it whenever an elderly woman gives us sugary sweet names. As if I was rewarded enough with her praise, a few hours later when I dropped my wallet two people pointed it out for me instead of just keeping silent and taking it away. I thanked them with all my heart. This highlights that karma is more rewarding than anything. My Mother believes that if you do something good you will be rewarded with twice the kindness you gave, and vice versa for the bad. I believed this too, no - I BELIEVE (present tense) this too. So to my dear followers, don't think that nothing is unrewarded, nothing punished. It just a matter of time. You may be rewarded for your kindness the very next day or 5 years or maybe even afterlife. As long as you remember your kind deeds and have hope, nothing can bring you down.
Well, now to conclude my post, I will dedicate this last paragraph to especially to you ladies. Make sure not to fall in love with the boys and men you just unbutton or unzip your clothes. Take time to see who it is that offers you their clothes to borrow and those who button up your shirt instead of unbuttoning it. You're even luckier to get a guy who buttons or zips up his jacket that you are wearing. Boys, remember this. Just tossing a girl your jacket is not enough, make effort and show her how much you care by simply just buttoning/zipping it up.
Much love, Phuong.
Labels: adolescence, karma, Love, relationships, teenage love
